Tag Archives: Cave Dwellers

BABY BOOMER MEN BECOME ADEPT AT SELECTING DRAPERIES, BABY BOOMER WOMEN HONE THEIR SKILLS AT TELLING DIRTY JOKES

Ever since the early days of cave dwellers, men have complained to each other about the habits of women, habits they considered annoying.

“I tell you, the missus just goes on and on about how we need a hunting drawing for the den.  Then, she starts up about fixing the toilet boulder, as if I didn’t have enough to do.  Yesterday, she came into the cave with another new pair of foot skins.  So, I tell her, “Pelts just don’t grow on trees, ya know”.  She said I sound just like my father.  I hate when she says that.  He’s her father too!”

In turn, ever since the early days of cave dwellers, women have complained to each other about the habits of men, habits they considered annoying.

“Oh my God,  my cavemate is all gas!  Every time we have boar, he lets ‘em rip like when the sky gets angry.  And, the smell is unbearable.  I may as well invite a mastodon into the cave.  I try to get him to eat more antelope, but it’s always boar, boar, boar.  I should have married the wolf boy from across the plains; he was such a good fire dancer”.

These attitudes have been the norm for each succeeding century, perpetuated in mass from vaudeville to ‘80’s stand-up comedians.  However, in recent years, the sexes have gradually developed a blending of habits, ideals, personality traits and interests.  Speaking for myself, I now have two-thirds of a grip on the holy trinity of shoes, chocolate and decorative pillows.  By two-thirds, I mean that I now understand the appeal of shoes and chocolate to women.  The decorative pillow thing is still somewhat murky to me.  (Why euros, shams and rolls on the bed, baby, why?)  Speaking on behalf of my wife, she is completely onboard with the male need to sustain a wristwatch collection of chronographs, day and date watches, automatics and quartz beauties all held in place with steel or leather; each with a bezel that has evolved into the surface size of a dinner plate.

My wife and I are not unique in these respects.  More and more baby boomers are experiencing an immense understanding about why things have appeal to opposite genders.  My theory is that it began when a few men went too far voicing their objection over the purchase of too many shoes.  One brilliant woman finally had enough and said, “So I spent $300 on a pair of slingbacks, big deal.  You blew $15,000 on a home theatre system claiming it was ‘for us’.  Yet, it would take a crowbar to pry away that remote from your hands!”

This man had to concede.  Not just in this argument, but for the history of all men.  Proof of my theory lies in the fact that I know what slingbacks are; I have no business knowing what slingbacks are.  Just about every home furnishings store will include a baby boomer couple deadlocked on their sense of style.  It would now be typical for the male to invoke his inner-female and state, “Those drapes don’t have enough contrast and texture to balance the chenille fabric on our sofa”.  That type of male interest would have never happened a few years ago.

While we’re examining this trend, let’s take into consideration the willingness of a baby boomer woman to be one of the guys.  Remember when a man would tell a dirty joke in mixed company and the women would just smirk and shake their heads in disgust?  Today however, those same women are channeling their inner-male, “… And, so the baker says, ‘Oh, that’s not icing, it’s just jiz!’ “.

Women everywhere are becoming adept at complex home repairs and men everywhere are becoming adept at stain removal.  They even shame lesser sisters and brothers who still haven’t been clued in.

There is still room for the limits of understanding.  Men cannot fathom an alternate driving route from a woman and a women cannot forgive a man for leaving the refrigerator door open.  We’re all still bound by the cave